"Courage is fear that has said it's prayers."

I've been thinking a lot about fear here lately. Especially how it seems to be my driving force. Honestly, I'm in constant fear of something at every moment of the day. I dwell. I'm a dweller. I read, pray, talk, etc. to be relieved of it and yet, fear resides in me. We have an amazing women's ministry at our church where we are reading When Wallflowers Dance. This book was the beginning of God's message to me. I couldn't have imagined what was to follow. You see, prior to this I had asked God to show me the truth and He did. In every area of my life, I mean every area, God showed up with this message: "Choose Me. Turn to Me." It is very humbling to hear this message. It is humiliating to say, "I can't. I'm afraid." God is patient. He continued to let me walk in fear and pain, all the while ministering to me, showing me, whispering to my heart. I fought hard, but here I am. God has changed me. Me. I am the essence of "self-will run riot." Today is my first day in this new light. I feel calm, grateful, humbled, willing and courageous. God led me to 1Corinthinans this morning. Here Paul is talking to the church in Corinth that has really gone astray. I was thrown back at how calm Paul was in his letter to this church. He was direct, confident, intense and warning, but calm. This is the message of God the Corinthians are messing with here! I would be livid! Then, I realized that Paul trusted the Lord to do great things in this church and through these people. Chapter 1 verse 9 says, "God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." God is faithful. I can have trust in God no matter what calamity or dirty dish or teenager or chocolate bar is in front of me. I can breath. I can remain calm. I can pray. I can choose to trust God.